Thus Says Suzanne...

Oh hell to the no!

The ick factor here cannot be overstated.  

Update - The previously posted video became unavailable.  This is a fresh link and should work.

suffering

 

This is a fresh picture of yet another red sun, and once again the image on-screen does not reflect the true red seen in reality.  It is hot and miserable here.  By hot I mean over 110 degrees.  Yesterday was icky, Monday was icky, today will be icky, tomorrow will be icky...you get the picture.  If the heat wasn't enough to make a person cranky the smoke from all the fires in the region is back full force.  I hate this weather.

oh barf

Warning...this is a seriously gross post.  Read at the risk of your own stomach contents.

I woke up at 1 AM for some unknown reason, only to discover the youngster barfing her guts out...again.  Only this time she had some difficulty making the target, or even being in the same room as the target.  I don't know what happened when she finally made it to the bathroom but there was barf on every surface.  It took me over an hour just to wipe down the hard surfaces.  Then the curtains had to be washed, as did the rugs and the towels.  Did I mention she managed to stop up the toilet as well?  I believe the carpet shampooer is going to be seeing some action later today in the hallway.

She's feeling better this morning but doesn't feel up to going to school.  Duh.

an all-Britney post

Well she hasn't (as far as I know) shaved her head again but she is not having a good week.  Of course the Britaloonies would have us believe that we need to just give her a break because she's just a young woman trying to find her place in the world, and after all who hasn't done the stuff she's done?  Please. 

1.    She reportedly got fired yesterday by her management company after only one month.

2.    She got fired by her attorney yesterday.

3.    She got owned by a former bodyguard yesterday when Gloria Allred trotted him into court yesterday during her custody battle with Fed-Ex (AKA K-Fed, Kevin Federline, loser boy), making allegations about drug use after rehab, safety issues around the kids and something to do with "nudity issues." 

4.    She got herself banned from the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles because she decided to play fingerpaint-her-face with the food rather than eat it, to the disgust of other patrons.

Let's not forget her swan song on the MTV awards show in which she hammered the nail into the coffin of her career and made herself the butt of every single joke told that day, which she followed up by partying around Las Vegas "commando" style again for all the world (via the paparazzi) to see. 

Britney's big video comeback

Do her eyes look dead to you?  It is said that Britney funded this video herself and was the person behind the concept.  I don't get it, I really, really, really don't get it.  When did pole dancing become something to aspire to?  Is this what she feels her audience wants?  Maybe this is just how little she values herself.  I can only speculate about how she got to this point and it's reported that she doesn't feel she is an addict but unless she's just seriously mentally ill (or both) I don't see another explanation.  Is there no one left in her life who can help her? 

For the story about her behavior behind the scenes, and more pictures click here. 

Britney's week so far...(and something to look forward to on Friday)

 

The next big Britney meltdown is brewing...brace yourselves for the Friday edition of OK! magazine which is purported to have some interesting things to report about an interview conducted last week on the set of her new music video. 

According to TMZ, the editor in Chief Sarah Ivens just released the following statement.  “OK! Magazine spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad. This week, on newsstands Friday, the truth will be told.”  Look for details about her newest dog having housebreaking issues and Brit mopping up with a Chanel dress, wardrobe selections (a couple sizes too small) that can't be corrected with photoshop, babbling like a baby, head lolling around on her shoulders, eyes rolling back in her head, urinating in plain sight of the film crew, touching herself constantly (yes, that kind of touching herself), and the list goes on.

In case you think this is not possible, have a look at her interaction with a member of the paparazzi.  Her children are bawling in the car while she's educating the paparazzi about legal matters and offering diet and exercise tips to the cameraman)...oh yeah, NSFW and heavily laden with profanity.

In other Britney news, she's reportedly (personally) served her mother with some kind of restraining order after a slapfest at Britney's house.  Earlier in full view of the paparazzi she stripped down to her skivvies and took a dip in the ocean.  She's also reportedly house hunting again with her new assistant (cousin Alli is suddenly nowhere to be seen except on a web page announcing her new singing career) after putting her previously purchased but never lived in mansion on the market. 

Maybe it's time for Target to establish a dress code for its customers

I occasionally shop at Target but I don't recall ever seeing anyone looking quite like this.  Seriously, if this town still had a hooker's stroll, the girls would make more of an effort to look appealing.  I hope she was there to buy a bra, some shampoo and some laundry detergent. 

And, of course, I suppose there is nothing quite like a relaxing cigarette outside while talking on a cell phone.  She's just a vision of beauty and elegance (yes, that's sarcasm).  What was Kevin Federline thinking when he gave up on this? 

it never ends with her

Unless I missed something and FedEx took all her money she should be able to afford better fake hair than this!  And, just so you don't think I'm giving her grief for one bad hair day I submit the following recent images for your consideration.

Britney's comeback?

I've shown remarkable restraint lately by not posting rumors about Britney which include stories about her stalled recording sessions (reportedly Jive Records thinks the tracks suck), and allegations that she went to rehab after passing out on New Years. 

What I can tell you is that recent pictures (see above) show her looking seriously hagged out, and her latest blog entry (which I believe was written by someone else, a publicist perhaps?) is not enough to undo the damage she's done to her reputation.  I also see no mention made of the two children she produced in the last two years, but at rough count there are 37 references to me/I in her post. 

Dear Fans,

It has been a while since I've addressed you personally here on my official website. The last couple of years have been quite a ride for me, the media has criticized my every move and printed a skewed perception of who I really am as a human being. Behind every decision I have made in my public life there always seems to be an apparent contradiction. I have come to terms with that which is why I usually don't pay much attention to it.

The last couple of years have been very enlightening for me and now that I've had the time to be "me," I've been able to sit down and think about where I want to go with myself as an entertainer with absolutely no strings attached. I am now more mature and feel like I am finally "free." I've been working so hard on this new album and I can't wait for you all to hear it and to go on tour again! I would like to exclusively tell you that I am working hard to release the new album sometime later this year, but the date is of course not certain yet. I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever, and to also reaching out to my fans on a more personal level. I noticed today that one of my biggest fansites is shutting down soon and I want you all to know that I do understand all the reasons that went behind making that decision, and I am sad to see it closing. If I were you I'd be unhappy too if I had to read what I've been reading every day. But trust me, I get it. I know I've been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move, but I want you all to know that I love my fans so much, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Love,
Britney

Ack!!! Noooooooooooo...

According to an article on CNN's website there are plans for a Ford Mustang station wagon.  The wrongness of this cannot be overstated!  This is not a car that is meant for soccer moms.  Ford, I'm begging you...please no!!!

Update - Whew!  A follow-up article says Ford has no plans for four-door Ford Mustangs (including station wagons).  Thank goodness, all is again right and correct in the land of automobiles.