Thus Says Suzanne...

Roman Polanski - the cold, hard facts

I am astonished to see people coming out in support of the child rapist Roman Polanski.

Lets' be clear.  He accepted a plea deal and made a confession.  It wasn't until he realized he would actually be held accountable for his crimes that he bailed for Europe. 

Debra Winger came out in support of him yesterday whining about how this had upset the art community, and advocated for his release.  Whoopi Goldberg talked about how it wasn't "rape-rape." 

Let's also be clear about what it was and then someone can help me understand why he should be freed, and how what he did wasn't "rape-rape."

He groomed a 13-year-old girl for the act, telling her he would photograph her for Vogue, and worked his way up to partially clothed images.  He provided alcohol and quaaludes to the 13-year-old girl.  He suggested she get into the hot tub for more images and instructed her to dispense with her clothing. He disrobed and got into the hot tub with her.  He took her into the house (remember she had been been drugged and plied with alcohol) where he proceeded to engage in oral sex with her.  Then he penetrated her vaginally but when he learned she was not on birth control (why would she be - she was 13) he decided to penetrate her anally where he completed the sex act.  

It's my assertion that anyone voicing support for his freedom is profoundly intellectually challenged and/or morally bankrupt.  Justice delayed is justice denied.

no to infinity

"You are going to be completely impressed...I turned my life completely around and to be able to understand that, you have to start there."

In 1991 Jaycee Lee Dugard was an 11-year-old girl on the way to her bus stop when she was abducted by Phillip Garrido and his wife (by their own admission).  Until this week Jaycee's family was left to wonder what became of her.  I'll save you some math and tell you that Jaycee is now 29 years old.  She spent the last 18 years in captivity, being held in Garrido's back yard.  She bore him two children, now ages 11 and 15, who have never been to school, never been to a doctor. 

How many rapes can one endure before it forever changes who they are and how they view the world?  And, suppose that happens to an 11-year-old, after having been taken from her family and life.  Suppose she endures years of this abuse while living in her abductor's backyard, bearing not one but two children by her rapist when she is just a child herself.  She gets no formal education.  Can she ever get back what was taken from her?  Her sense of safety, her childhood, her innocence, her education, her family? 

What did it do to her family who watched from their yard as she was kidnapped?  Her stepfather was viewed as suspect until this week when Jaycee resurfaced.  The marriage did not survive.  Jaycee's mother reportedly cried for a week every year on the anniversary of the kidnapping of her beautiful young daughter. 

So when Garrido says "You are going to be completely impressed...I turned my life completely around and to be able to understand that, you have to start there," I say no to infinity.  I am not impressed.  I don't care if he turned his life around.  I will never understand his selfish and obscene actions. 

He cannot ever make right what he has made wrong.  He cannot return what he stole from Jaycee and her family. 

jury duty, phone service, consumer debt and Consumer Reports

Remember the jury summons I received last week?  I'm not done yet.

You may recall that my phone service went haywire last week and that though DSL still works I've been without dial tone.  When I placed a service call the guy I spoke with indicated there was some sort of regional problem because they had a boatload of similar complaints in my area.  He further indicated that it might be resolved by late Monday evening.  He also did some kind of line test from his end and expressed his opinion that he had detected some sort of short in my line so that I would definitely need a service call.  Monday night rolled around with no resolution to the phone issue so I figured I was hosed until my jury service is complete and I have time to sit around for a day waiting for the phone company (basically that will never happen).  About 20 minutes ago my phone rang once, and when I picked up the receiver I got a dial tone!  Joy and happiness.  My phone is working again. (Guess the "short" resolved on its own, huh?)

This week I'm mailing off a check which will clear away the last vestiges of my consumer debt.  That means with the exception of the mortgage I have zero, zip, zilch, nada debt! 

I was reading the new car edition of Consumer Reports today (seriously, one has to have reading material to spend all day in court).  To my dismay I learned that the Chrysler/Dodge minivan I've been considering is basically a serious loser.  I'm back to the drawing board and having to rethink the entire setup.  The other minivans are not happening for me, in spite of the fact that one of them is recommended by the magazine (it's just too hideous for words and for that much money I better be in serious lust with it's looks).  Right now I'm leaning toward a Ford Taurus wagon setup, or a Mazda Tribute (which I considered a few years back, and it turns out is highly recommended).

Is California a deadbeat parent?

For those not living in the Golden State it may come as a surprise to learn our folks at the capital have so jacked-up our budget that they have well and truly hosed us all.  Unless they reach a budget agreement - right, because that will happen - they plan to delay taxpayer refunds, send state workers on mandated furloughs, and withhold child support, among other things.

When I say they plan to withhold child support I mean that they intend not to provide financial support to the children they have taken into the foster care system.  Foster parents in San Diego County have already received notices that they can expect reimbursement payments (which the state is aware does not adequately the child's basic expenses) to be delayed, perhaps into September.  And, because Medi-Cal is also affected, the same children are going to have difficulty getting medical treatment. 

Social services is the first casualty of the budget crisis.  My adoption worker is among the first to be affected by the mandated furloughs.  How many other social workers will be affected by the soon-to-come layoffs?  How many children waiting to be matched with adoptive families will continue in foster care limbo before this is resolved?

Because soon there will be fewer social workers, there will be fewer people to check on children who are in reported to be in horrendous situations.  There will be no funds to help keep families together, and we already know there are no funds to care for children once they enter the foster care system.

Soon the children in foster care will not have social workers to check on them, foster parents paying their expenses out of pocket indefinitely, and children without access to health care or mental health services (or social workers to cut through the red tape). 

Foster families take on the task of caring for children who are profoundly damaged by their past, and they do it for free but the state is supposed to pay for their basic needs.  The State of California is the legal guardian of the children in the foster care system who have been separated from their biological families.  These children have no voice. 

It is obscene that the folks in Sacramento are looking to these children to bear the first crunch of the budget crisis.  A civilian who withholds child support can find themselves being labeled a deadbeat parent.   

a status update on the mystery of Caylee Anthony's disappearance

In case you missed it, Casey Anthony is back behind bars and she's has some additional charges related to "economic crimes."  That's a nice way of saying she cleaned out the bank account of one of her friends.  If she is found guilty of the crimes she's currently charged with she could face up to 17 years behind bars. 

Today we learned she declined the limited immunity deal offered to her, and she's about to be charged with more "economic crimes."  Clearly, there are many who feel that it's only a matter of time before she's charged with the death of her daughter.  (Reportedly forensic evidence points to a dead Caylee having been in the trunk of Casey's car at one time.)

Cindy Anthony (the grandmother) and her lame/looser/creepy guy spokesperson appeared this morning on the Today show.  I deeply troubled by what I see happening with the grandmother.  She is in profound denial.

flawed logic

Cindy Anthony called in to Nancy Grace last night, and she did an in-home interview with Greta VanSustern (the second half of that interview will air tonight on Fox). 

As she tells it Casey is in jail and will give up her life in order to save Caylee and keep her safe.  She says that she has "in her way" told them who has Caylee but not the exact location. 

A couple days ago she was telling the public we needed to "get off our asses" and go find "this missing child." 

I'm confused.  Is it safe to fetch Caylee from the dastardly "nanny" or not?  And, where are we supposed to be looking after we get off our asses?

the search for Caylee Marie Anthony

• Who waits more than a month to report their child missing?  Who, even then, is not the person to report their child missing but leaves it to their mother to do so only after being confronted? 
• Who, after the child goes missing, spends their time in clubs posing for pictures looking like they're having a great time, without a care in the world?
• Who takes their mother's credit card and runs up (reportedly) $45,000 (not a typo) in debt while their child is missing?
• Who, when questioned by authorities about their missing child, tells a story about a babysitter no one has ever met or spoken with, and lives in an apartment that has been vacant for many months?  They can't even provide a phone number for the sitter they claim to have used for the past two years.
• Who tells authorities they work at a place they were fired from two years previously?
• Who, when arrested and incarcerated for child endangerment, spends their phone call time with family members who are trying to understand and help asking for her boyfriend's number, and then complaining that speaking to family and friends is a waste of time?

I submit those look like the actions of a sociopath who was tired of the now-missing child and did away with her so that she could start a new life with her boyfriend.

Normally, when someone disappears there is someone in their life who steps forward and puts a face to the missing individual and can keep the search alive.  In this case the grandmother stepped forward and certainly did the rounds on the news circuit but it seems that all she did was turn public sympathy away from this family. 

The general consensus seems to be that Casey Anthony either killed or allowed her child to die and that she is a pathological liar who cannot be expected to tell the truth about what happened.  Some of her statements rival those of Scott Peterson who was (until now) kind of the gold standard for blatant lies.

Is there anything about this family that the public can grab on to as a positive, something to help us feel as though we want to help?  If we believe that Caylee is indeed dead, and this family seems so unlikeable what is the motivation to help them find the remains of this missing girl?

FLDS reunification (service) plan

Since this situation started I've been outlining what the service plan will be.  Details of what is being included in the plan are coming to light:

• The service plan goals say the parents will understand what abuse is and take steps to protect their children. They also ask parents to cooperate with DNA testing and providing identifying papers to establish paternity and family relationships.
• For parents, tasks include participating in parenting classes, psychiatric evaluations and following the recommendations of counselors.
• Establish safe living arrangements for children and provide verification to the department of living arrangements, including methods of support the family is receiving from all sources.
• If the judge is not satisfied that you can provide a safe place for your child where they are free from abuse, the judge may decide to limit or even permanently take away all of your rights as a parent of a child.  The child then could be placed in permanent foster care or be adopted.

(Update - View a copy of the actual service plan.)

This is pretty much what I said would happen.  If you want to compare the plan with what I predicted it would be:

FLDS raid
FLDS raid - part 2
FLDS raid - part 3
FLDS raid - part 4
FLDS raid - part 5
more on the FLDS 
an open letter to Maggie Jessop of FLDS

an open letter to Maggie Jessop of FLDS

I read the letter in today's Salt Lake Tribune which is purportedly written by you.  I'm not here to bash you...I'm here to help you, but the help comes in the way of information which you may not welcome.  Your situation is grave and I'm concerned that you may be doing things that are actively going to hurt your efforts to be reunited with your children.

Admittedly I'm making some assumptions here, the largest one being that you want your children back.  As a foster mother I've seen how the system works and because you are new to the system I want to help you better understand how serious this situation is.

• Once the children were removed from your care and placed in state custody the clock started ticking.  The court has a year to make a decision about permanency.  That means that you have a year to satisfy the court or the court will change the permanency plan from reunification to termination of parental rights.  You're already more than a month into that year.  Visitation is generally supervised by a social worker, and they are documenting everything that takes place.  If you make poor choices during your visits your visitation may be suspended or terminated.
• If after a year the court terminates reunification services to the parents that typically means you will no longer be offered services through CPS, including visitation with your children.  Once reunification services to the parents are ended, State Adoptions will be asked to look for pre-adoptive placements.  If an adoptive home is identified the children will likely be moved to their new homes while the court terminates your parental rights.  The court can extend the case six months but please remember that the children remain in state custody while this is happening. 
• If this worst-case scenario is not bad enough, once you've lost custody of multiple children the state will in all likelihood take an immediate interest in any future children you may bear.  If CPS thinks the situation that led to the removal of the first children is unchanged, they will remove subsequent children and potentially place them on the fast track to adoption. 

Once the court outlines the reunification plan you will either follow the plan exactly as it is set out or you will have your parental rights terminated.  What others may not tell you is that beyond what is required of you in terms of specific tasks like counseling or parenting classes the court will ultimately want to see that you view the situation differently and that you have made changes to your life that reflect this different understanding. 

If you don't do exactly what the court requires, then by this time next year you could be looking at termination of your parental rights, with your children being scattered all over the country.  Here are a few things to consider:

• It's unlikely that adoptive homes would be found that would keep the largest sibling groups together which means that not only would the children not be going home to you but that they would be separated from each other. 
• Courts generally leave it to adoptive parents to make arrangements for continued contact with siblings but not all adoptive parents are willing to do this.
• In my experience, parents in the foster/adoption world come into the system with their own religious agenda.  Once children are adopted, their adoptive families make the decisions about their religious instruction.
• Older children are generally harder to find adoptive homes for.  This could mean that your older children do not get adoptive families but finish their childhood as wards of the state being mainstreamed into group homes.

As a foster parent, I've seen how the system works.  If you want your children back, you will need to choose your strategy carefully. 

FLDS raid - part 5

The other night I watched Larry King's interview of the women from the FLDS group in Texas.  The next night he commented that many of his viewers were writing in to ask "where are the fathers?"  Because genetic testing is already being done on the children in an attempt to determine which children are biologically related to each other (foster care tries very hard to keep biological siblings together) it occurs to me that DNA testing for the men could be a double-edged sword.

Everything I see on the news suggests the fathers very much want their children returned to them.  Because of the confusion about which child belongs with which parents DNA testing will be done to match them correctly before they can be released back to their parents.  However, if the DNA testing also reveals that a man is the biological father of a child born to an underage minor he's in some serious trouble with the law.  If this is the case, then even if the children are returned to their mothers, there could be men facing hard time behind bars.  Additionally, if a father is not identified, his parental rights can be terminated on grounds of abandonment. 

Having sat through a number of hearings in family court I know from personal experience how drawn-out the process is, and that every objection means another delay and perhaps another continuance.  While attorneys hash out the legalities, the children remain in the custody of the state.  A continuance usually means scheduling the next court date a month or more away.  Meanwhile the clock is ticking (remember the court has a year and a half and then must make a decision). 

The sad fact is that when parents do not work within the system by doing what the court requires, the parents find themselves living out the rest of their lives without their children.  And, to raise the stakes, when parents have parental rights terminated for multiple children, the state takes an immediate interest in any future children born to them.  If circumstances are unchanged from the circumstances which led to the removal of the original children, the state will remove the new children and often fast-track them to adoption. 

Once again, I'm not getting into a discussion about religious persecution here.  I'm trying to offer some insight on how the court is likely to respond to the facts before it.