Thus Says Suzanne...

Oh hell to the no!

The ick factor here cannot be overstated.  

Update - The previously posted video became unavailable.  This is a fresh link and should work.

an all-Britney post

Well she hasn't (as far as I know) shaved her head again but she is not having a good week.  Of course the Britaloonies would have us believe that we need to just give her a break because she's just a young woman trying to find her place in the world, and after all who hasn't done the stuff she's done?  Please. 

1.    She reportedly got fired yesterday by her management company after only one month.

2.    She got fired by her attorney yesterday.

3.    She got owned by a former bodyguard yesterday when Gloria Allred trotted him into court yesterday during her custody battle with Fed-Ex (AKA K-Fed, Kevin Federline, loser boy), making allegations about drug use after rehab, safety issues around the kids and something to do with "nudity issues." 

4.    She got herself banned from the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles because she decided to play fingerpaint-her-face with the food rather than eat it, to the disgust of other patrons.

Let's not forget her swan song on the MTV awards show in which she hammered the nail into the coffin of her career and made herself the butt of every single joke told that day, which she followed up by partying around Las Vegas "commando" style again for all the world (via the paparazzi) to see. 

Britney's big video comeback

Do her eyes look dead to you?  It is said that Britney funded this video herself and was the person behind the concept.  I don't get it, I really, really, really don't get it.  When did pole dancing become something to aspire to?  Is this what she feels her audience wants?  Maybe this is just how little she values herself.  I can only speculate about how she got to this point and it's reported that she doesn't feel she is an addict but unless she's just seriously mentally ill (or both) I don't see another explanation.  Is there no one left in her life who can help her? 

For the story about her behavior behind the scenes, and more pictures click here. 

Maybe it's time for Target to establish a dress code for its customers

I occasionally shop at Target but I don't recall ever seeing anyone looking quite like this.  Seriously, if this town still had a hooker's stroll, the girls would make more of an effort to look appealing.  I hope she was there to buy a bra, some shampoo and some laundry detergent. 

And, of course, I suppose there is nothing quite like a relaxing cigarette outside while talking on a cell phone.  She's just a vision of beauty and elegance (yes, that's sarcasm).  What was Kevin Federline thinking when he gave up on this? 

jacket of doom

This isn't supposed to be pick on Katie day but this jacket, ick!

it never ends with her

Unless I missed something and FedEx took all her money she should be able to afford better fake hair than this!  And, just so you don't think I'm giving her grief for one bad hair day I submit the following recent images for your consideration.

wrong again

Oh for the love of...

Yes, she's wearing undergarments but she still got it wrong.  This isn't preschool where your mom sets your clothes out for you and helps you put them on.  How flipping hard is it to get dressed in the morning?  Is she really this stupid?  Reportedly this is the apparel she selected to wear to her mother's birthday dinner. 

Remember the good old days (not so long ago) when undergarments were also known as unmentionables?  Remember when a woman's greatest asset was a man's imagination?  Remember when classy women like Audrey Hepburn were the ones admired and emulated?  As a society we've lost something special.

It's official

Britney is lost to humanity.  After showing signs of a few working brain cells by ditching her loser husband, I now begin to suspect he is a sharper tool that she.  What you don't see in these pictures is the series of shots that show her exiting a limo sans undergarments for her nether regions.  Why is it that Paris and all her friends run around commando style?  Gross. 

A couple weeks ago, conventional wisdom was that Britney had the stronger custody case...but partying with Paris every night is not the way to win the judge's heart.  I have no idea what Brit hopes to accomplish but her behavior suggests she's an idiot. 

Paris Hilton arrested

Let me preface this by saying I have no use for Paris Hilton.  I rank Britney Spears as a better human being.  But that is a post for another day. 

She was arrested for DUI earlier today by LAPD. The driving under the influence symptoms were "probably the result of an empty stomach and working all day and being fatigued," says her spokesperson. 

Right.  Here is the deal.  Drunk is drunk, it doesn't matter how she got that way.  It is her responsibility to stay sober behind the wheel.  To drink and drive is bad...to drink and drive, then make excuses through another person is despicable.  What excuse might she have offered had she injured or killed someone as a consequence of drinking and driving? 

Aretha Franklin...

Okay folks, we're about one verrrrrry strained spaghetti strap away from a truly terrifying wardrobe malfunction.  (You can click on the thumbnail for a larger image...I just couldn't look at this full-size all day long.)